Mating Call!

As Jeff Foxworthy pointed out, "Women understand men better because they study us.  You ever look at women's magazines? It's always 'how to get a good man', 'how to get rid of a bad man', or 'how to turn a bad man into a good man.' You ever look at men's magazines? It's nothing but pictures of naked women!"

True as Jeff's words may be in the form of periodicals, there is information out there for men to attract women.  I decided that between my 17 hours of class and my 35 hours per week of work I have time to get seriously involved with a woman and thought I'd try and adjust my style. . . or at least look into for when I actually have the time for such stuff.

Well, I didn't exactly like what I found out.  Basically, according to the sources, just about everything I do is "wrong" if I'm hoping for romance between me and the girl I've got my eye on.  Specifically. . .


1)  Women are attracted to "mysterious" guys.  Guys who never tell the whole truth and have a smug eye.  Those of you who know me are familiar with the fact that I can't keep a secret to save my life, and I don't hold back on just about anything.  I am brutally honest and I hope for the same from the women I date.  My better relationships in the past were all about heart to heart conversations.  The ones I don't miss. . . not so much.  That's strike one!

2)  Evidently you only have a period of about an hour to get the girl to like you romantically.  Beyond that, you're in the dreaded "friend zone." I'm really screwed here, as I only seriously consider dating girls that I've known for at least three months as a friend.  Why would I do such a thing? Because, when you're dating you always put your best foot forward. . . and I'm not interested in your best foot.  I figure if I end up marrying you and then find out that you're a hateful bitch, as I don't believe in divorce, I'm screwed.  So I want to know this information ahead of time.  But, that's strike two!

3)  Don't talk about your ex's.

People who know me well are laughing, as everyone knows about the girl I stole from the blind guy. . . how he still can't find her. . . how I impersonated her best friend on AOL instant messenger. . . how she hit me really hard for doing that. . .

Come on! What do you mean I can't tell those stories? They're funny!

In truth though, when Tiffany and I were together there were many times I wanted to tell stories about some adventure Jen and I had.  But, I didn't wish for her to get jealous, so I told the story as if ADAM was Jen. . . I still can't figure out why she wondered if I was gay sometimes. . .

Strike three! I'm out!

Actually, all this advice is taylor made toward achieving a one night stand and then sneaking out the back door while leaving a fake phone number. . . something I've never had too much interest in.  While I can no longer realy remember why I'm holding onto my V card so tightly, I'm more interested in a relationship than a one night stand, so this info probably doesn't apply to me anyway.

But, with my "massive amounts of spare time", maybe I should start giving the one night stand option the once over.

Nah!